Reading Group Discussion Prompts

Between the Prologue and the first few pages of Chapter 1, what is your impression of the author and what to expect from her? Why?

What is intermittent reinforcement? How does it come into play in relationships? Name a time in your life you have been impacted by it.

What is your first impression of Brad? What role do you think his upbringing had in what he brought to his marriage?

Alex clearly describes her mother. How would you describe her, and her impact on Alex?

Alex uses the terms co-dependent and narcissist. How would you define each and how would you describe the dance between them? Do you, or does someone in your life, show tendencies of being either? Who and in what ways?

Why do some women deny the reality of their husbands’ affairs? What would you do if you thought your husband was being unfaithful?

After putting up with years of lies and infidelity and broken promises, what do you think made Alex finally leave?

Who is the real third wheel in a marriage befouled by infidelity?

Why is it difficult to stay friends with both parties when a couple divorces? How do you make the choice of who you maintain as a friend?

What do you think is the hardest thing about being newly uncoupled? What might be the best?

Do you believe that there are families or relationships without dysfunction? At what point does dysfunction become corrosive?

Alex cautions that we should never construct boundaries out of barbed wire. What does she mean by this, and do you agree or disagree with her?

How prepared is the average married woman for dating in the 21st Century. How does dating now differ from dating even a decade ago?

What dating advice would you give newly single women? What dating advice would you give your daughter?

There is often a bias about cosmetic surgery and procedures and yet it is no secret that as women age they become less desirable. Why do you think Alex went through the procedures she did? How do you feel about cosmetic surgery? What might you have done in her place?

How does one have a physical relationship without trust enough to ask questions or set boundaries? Is this the new norm, or has it always been so?

What is the Principle of Least Interest, and how is it best applied to relationships. Is expecting to apply it even realistic?

Do you think Alex actually ran wild after she separated from her husband, or do you think her behavior was absolutely normal?

What are the pros of online dating? What are the cons?

What are some of the more compelling things that need to be factored in before deciding to leave a mate?

Why do men and women play around? Why do their partners sometimes dismiss or try to accept it?

How likely is it that a woman will pick the same man over and over again? Why? And what does it take to make this pattern stop?

In what ways is emotional abuse more insidious than physical abuse?

Why do you think Brad bought a house in the same development Alex moved to?

Was Alex running away or running to when she left Flagstaff for San Diego?

What do you see in Alex’s future? What, if anything, did you learn from reading the book?