Blog

If you’ve browsed my website at all, by now you know that I married at 17, walked out at 65, and write about what it takes to re-enter the world single after a long, monogamous – from my side, anyway – relationship. Much of this is in my book, LEAVING YOUfor me. But this adventure I began a couple of years ago goes on and as it does there’s rarely a dull moment. It is this journey – both unique and universal – the wisdom garnered from it, dumb shit moments I’ve learned from, and the utter hilarity and confusion that can, at times, cloud a clear and starry night, that I share with you in my blog.

Sometimes we have to let go, shift directions, square up to challenges when we’d rather hide in a closet, unwrap a chocolate bar and try not to trash our mascara. Things seldom go as we plan, much less as we expect them to. Each new day is filled with potential for promise and heartbreak, friendship and failure, danger and delight – where even small, seemingly inconsequential choices we make can trip and send us tumbling. What might look like a single thread can possess the potential to unravel enough to make a mess if we tug on it – or leave us a mess if we don’t. Choices are a bitch sometimes, but that bitch is in the game of life with us every day. Sometimes she lies, cheats, and batters us with bullshit, but she always plays for keeps. Some days, we kick her ass. Those are our best days. Days we burn with the fire of determination and shine.

From divorce to dating, boy have I had some experiences; from beginning by letting others define the boundaries to grabbing and maintaining the controls for myself. Hoping to save you some of the trials and tribulations – or perhaps sharing them so you know you are not alone – these blogs are meant to inform, inspire, empower and, hopefully, make you laugh – a bit at the circumstance in which we find ourselves, and a bit at we ourselves.

So, buckle up and get ready for a fun rideTwitter  as together we navigate living, growing, reconfiguring and reclaiming our lives…and of course, navigating the world of dating – as we begin again, whatever our age.

The Blame-Shame Nonsense Game

That people are quick to hurl blame and shame in the guise of accountability is often nonsense and cruel. The Blame “It takes two, you know.” I got that one from a friend when I told her my husband was having another affair and I’d left him. She frosted her remark with, “Well, he always […]

Read More

A Single’s Primary Relationship

A Single’s primary relationship…just what is that? Google defines ‘single’ as; only one, not one of several, unmarried or not involved in a stable sexual relationship. Yup, that pretty much sums it up, but what does it feel like when you have to own being only one? Reminds me of that damned roller coaster. The […]

Read More

I Waited Too Long to Leave…

I didn’t admit it until now, until I read a great love story. Even though it had a tragic ending, he loved her with all his heart and she him. She was loved back. I spent over 47 years with a man who was not capable of loving me back, but I didn’t know it. […]

Read More

EMERGENCY SOS on Your Phone to the RESCUE!!

Medical Emergency SOS Services GIVE YOURSELF AN EDGE AGAINST PREDATORS Be a Savvy-Sly Badass Not a Victim! With the touch of a button or two we can AUDIBLY or SILENTLY call emergency services with our iPhone, Apple Watch and select Androids. They will simultaneously alert emergency services, flash our location to them and to personal […]

Read More

How Did I Forgive My Narcissistic Spouse’s Affairs?

Narcissistic relationships possess unique dynamics The narcissist’s spouse isn’t necessarily blind, dumb or weak at all, when we hang in there after an affair or abuse. We adapt and are often crafty as hell. We learn to lie to ourselves more convincingly than our narcissistic spouses lie to us.  There are clinical tags for we […]

Read More

Make Happy and Glad, Out of Lonely and Sad

I’m not sad or lonely. I’ve been marathoning episodes of Grey’s Anatomy. Living vicariously through their life and death dramas, loves, passions, the insanity of being real people in intense circumstances. I write to you about my past, want to pay it forward…after I discovered what happened to me, my marriage of over forty years. […]

Read More

CODEPENDENTS TAKE THE RAP?

Pitfalls of Keeping the Peace… Playing the Peacekeeper becomes a core focus for those in relationships with a narcissist. We’re no quitters, but neither are they. Some argue that codependents share the responsibility for the unhealthy behavior, because their main focus of ‘keeping the peace’ is dependent upon countering the unhealthy family member’s behavior, like […]

Read More

Help Line and Links

                     HELP!! If someone you know needs help please share this information. If you are desperate…reach out for yourself…Being sad and alone, afraid for yourself or your children, no one to turn to, no where to go……..please reach out. It may help save your life or […]

Read More

Worst Things About Life With a Narcissist?

We adapt: to the narcissist’s tempers, impatience, even to their contempt, yet for me, the worst thing about living with a narcissist is the emotional void of loving someone not only incapable of loving me back, but capable of such devaluing cruelty…sometimes covertly, other times with the fury of intimidation. Loving them is the worst […]

Read More