Blog

If you’ve browsed my website at all, by now you know that I married at 17, walked out at 65, and write about what it takes to re-enter the world single after a long, monogamous – from my side, anyway – relationship. Much of this is in my book, LEAVING YOUfor me. But this adventure I began a couple of years ago goes on and as it does there’s rarely a dull moment. It is this journey – both unique and universal – the wisdom garnered from it, dumb shit moments I’ve learned from, and the utter hilarity and confusion that can, at times, cloud a clear and starry night, that I share with you in my blog.

Sometimes we have to let go, shift directions, square up to challenges when we’d rather hide in a closet, unwrap a chocolate bar and try not to trash our mascara. Things seldom go as we plan, much less as we expect them to. Each new day is filled with potential for promise and heartbreak, friendship and failure, danger and delight – where even small, seemingly inconsequential choices we make can trip and send us tumbling. What might look like a single thread can possess the potential to unravel enough to make a mess if we tug on it – or leave us a mess if we don’t. Choices are a bitch sometimes, but that bitch is in the game of life with us every day. Sometimes she lies, cheats, and batters us with bullshit, but she always plays for keeps. Some days, we kick her ass. Those are our best days. Days we burn with the fire of determination and shine.

From divorce to dating, boy have I had some experiences; from beginning by letting others define the boundaries to grabbing and maintaining the controls for myself. Hoping to save you some of the trials and tribulations – or perhaps sharing them so you know you are not alone – these blogs are meant to inform, inspire, empower and, hopefully, make you laugh – a bit at the circumstance in which we find ourselves, and a bit at we ourselves.

So, buckle up and get ready for a fun rideTwitter  as together we navigate living, growing, reconfiguring and reclaiming our lives…and of course, navigating the world of dating – as we begin again, whatever our age.

Nature-Nurture and Wa La…the Narcissist?

Could this be a clue to understanding why communicating with a narcissistic individual can spin us in dizzy circles? I read an article by Dr. Elinor Greenberg, a real deal specialist in defining and diagnosing baffling character disorders. The article magnetized puzzle pieces to fit, explain, clear the mist of confusion. These are my thoughts […]

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Lesson in Chivalry From My Grandson…LOL

Three of my teenage grandsons came to see me over Fall Break. We were at a stop sign in downtown San Diego when a couple crossed in front of us. Once headed down the street the man made an intentional move to walk along the street side and keep his wife tucked safely on the […]

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Are You Drowning in a Toxic Relationship?

How can we escape a toxic relationship when we’re clinging for dear life? Why do we stay when logic, actions, reactions and the constant knot in our gut testify that our relationship is not good and not getting better? Doesn’t toxic mean poison? So why do we want to stay? How do we set ourselves […]

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How to Stop Boundary Battles…

I was never good at setting boundaries. They were aggressive and that’s not how to handle a hot-headed narcissistic man or woman. Once I walked away, I set boundaries. We signed an agreement not to spend over a certain dollar amount without consent from both of us, not to sell assets, that kind of thing. […]

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IS SHARING PASSWORDS A RELATIONSHIP MINEFIELD?

Is sharing passwords a matter of trust or an invasion of privacy? Trust is perhaps the strongest bond a couple can have, yet it is amazingly fragile. As intimacy increases, so can the polarity of ‘Come closer but give me some space’ that we can experience. That bond of intimacy can also become a leash […]

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Sad and Alone? You’re Not Alone.

This morning a woman on Facebook stirred memories of those first months after I left my husband of 47 years. When we finally leave a narcissistic relationship, we can be pretty broken and emotionally battered. Not at the top of our game for sure. Leaving isn’t the fulfillment of our dream, it’s a last resort […]

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When Leaving Breaks Your Heart

Leaving an emotionally or even physically abusive relationship and staying away is often gut wrenching in the beginning. I remember wondering when in the hell the knot in my chest, that made it hard to take a deep breath, would let go. In retrospect it’s interesting how as I let go of him, that knot […]

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Rewrite Your Story

Break the seal of the past. Grab the quill. Redirect your path. Rewrite the next scene of your story. You’re the Director, Producer and Star of the show. This is your life to own. Alex Delon  

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Ted Won the Bonus Round

I signed up for a four-hour, half-price whale watching excursion this morning with a Meetup group. I want to make fun of myself for getting ready, even though the fog or marine layer, whatever it is, has squatted like a too-fat-to-move toad, but I can’t find light or funny at the moment. A dear friend, […]

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Can Empathetic People Learn to Spot Manipulators?

Yes…but you must learn to trust your instincts. Value yourself when you sense you’re with a player. Exercise discipline because they can be charming, charismatic and hot as hell. Decide what you want and need. I played with a few of them when I first began to date, a year after I left a 47 […]

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