Blog

If you’ve browsed my website at all, by now you know that I married at 17, walked out at 65, and write about what it takes to re-enter the world single after a long, monogamous – from my side, anyway – relationship. Much of this is in my book, LEAVING YOUfor me. But this adventure I began a couple of years ago goes on and as it does there’s rarely a dull moment. It is this journey – both unique and universal – the wisdom garnered from it, dumb shit moments I’ve learned from, and the utter hilarity and confusion that can, at times, cloud a clear and starry night, that I share with you in my blog.

Sometimes we have to let go, shift directions, square up to challenges when we’d rather hide in a closet, unwrap a chocolate bar and try not to trash our mascara. Things seldom go as we plan, much less as we expect them to. Each new day is filled with potential for promise and heartbreak, friendship and failure, danger and delight – where even small, seemingly inconsequential choices we make can trip and send us tumbling. What might look like a single thread can possess the potential to unravel enough to make a mess if we tug on it – or leave us a mess if we don’t. Choices are a bitch sometimes, but that bitch is in the game of life with us every day. Sometimes she lies, cheats, and batters us with bullshit, but she always plays for keeps. Some days, we kick her ass. Those are our best days. Days we burn with the fire of determination and shine.

From divorce to dating, boy have I had some experiences; from beginning by letting others define the boundaries to grabbing and maintaining the controls for myself. Hoping to save you some of the trials and tribulations – or perhaps sharing them so you know you are not alone – these blogs are meant to inform, inspire, empower and, hopefully, make you laugh – a bit at the circumstance in which we find ourselves, and a bit at we ourselves.

So, buckle up and get ready for a fun rideTwitter  as together we navigate living, growing, reconfiguring and reclaiming our lives…and of course, navigating the world of dating – as we begin again, whatever our age.

How Did I Forgive My Narcissistic Spouse’s Affairs?

Narcissistic relationships possess unique dynamics The narcissist’s spouse isn’t necessarily blind, dumb or weak at all, when we hang in there after an affair or abuse. We adapt and are often crafty as hell. We learn to lie to ourselves more convincingly than our narcissistic spouses lie to us.  There are clinical tags for we […]

Read More

Make Happy and Glad, Out of Lonely and Sad

I’m not sad or lonely. I’ve been marathoning episodes of Grey’s Anatomy. Living vicariously through their life and death dramas, loves, passions, the insanity of being real people in intense circumstances. I write to you about my past, want to pay it forward…after I discovered what happened to me, my marriage of over forty years. […]

Read More

CODEPENDENTS TAKE THE RAP?

Pitfalls of Keeping the Peace… Playing the Peacekeeper becomes a core focus for those in relationships with a narcissist. We’re no quitters, but neither are they. Some argue that codependents share the responsibility for the unhealthy behavior, because their main focus of ‘keeping the peace’ is dependent upon countering the unhealthy family member’s behavior, like […]

Read More

Help Line and Links

                     HELP!! If someone you know needs help please share this information. If you are desperate…reach out for yourself…Being sad and alone, afraid for yourself or your children, no one to turn to, no where to go……..please reach out. It may help save your life or […]

Read More

Worst Things About Life With a Narcissist?

We adapt: to the narcissist’s tempers, impatience, even to their contempt, yet for me, the worst thing about living with a narcissist is the emotional void of loving someone not only incapable of loving me back, but capable of such devaluing cruelty…sometimes covertly, other times with the fury of intimidation. Loving them is the worst […]

Read More

Narcissistic Control Tactics

TACTICS NARCISSISTS USE TO MANIPULATE AND CONTROL  By Alex N. Delon   One of the biggest reasons people get into and stay in toxic relationships with a narcissistic partner is because they don’t know what they’re dealing with…the ploys and patterns. They don’t understand the dynamics of narcissism and struggle to make it work. To […]

Read More

At what stage in your life did you realize, “I can’t do this anymore,” and walk out?

This entry is part 1 of 1 in the series Questions and Answer Posts

Questions and Answer PostsAt what stage in your life did you realize, “I can’t do this anymore,” and walk out? Quora asked this question…about my moment of insight When and why did I walk out and why? I reached that critical point a few months after my Medicare card arrived…after 47.5 years of marriage…four days […]

Read More

To Leave or Lead Someone On?

When is it Time For You to break up or lead someone on? When they are “all in” and you’re not. Maybe you care for them, but are no longer ‘in love’ and want more or want something or someone else. Are you being mean or honest if you don’t break up? In truth, they […]

Read More

Nature-Nurture and Wa La…the Narcissist?

Could a thing like Object Relations Theory be a clue to understanding why communicating with a narcissistic individual can spin us in dizzy circles? I read an article by Dr. Elinor Greenberg, a real deal specialist in defining and diagnosing baffling character disorders. The article magnetized puzzle pieces to fit, explain, clear the mist of […]

Read More

Lesson in Chivalry From My Grandson…LOL

Three of my teenage grandsons came to see me over Fall Break. We were at a stop sign in downtown San Diego when a couple crossed in front of us. Once headed down the street the man made an intentional move to walk along the street side and keep his wife tucked safely on the […]

Read More