If you’ve browsed my website at all, by now you know that I married at 17, walked out at 65, and write about what it takes to re-enter the world single after a long, monogamous – from my side, anyway – relationship. Much of this is in my book, LEAVING YOU…for me. But this adventure I began a couple of years ago goes on and as it does there’s rarely a dull moment. It is this journey – both unique and universal – the wisdom garnered from it, dumb shit moments I’ve learned from, and the utter hilarity and confusion that can, at times, cloud a clear and starry night, that I share with you in my blog. You can browse by category or choose ‘all by date’ and experience my progression along the way.
Sometimes we have to let go, shift directions, square up to challenges when we’d rather hide in a closet, unwrap a chocolate bar and try not to trash our mascara. Things seldom go as we plan, much less as we expect them to. Each new day is filled with potential for promise and heartbreak, friendship and failure, danger and delight – where even small, seemingly inconsequential choices we make can trip and send us tumbling. What might look like a single thread can possess the potential to unravel enough to make a mess if we tug on it – or leave us a mess if we don’t. Choices are a bitch sometimes, but that bitch is in the game of life with us every day. Sometimes she lies, cheats, and batters us with bullshit, but she always plays for keeps. Some days, we kick her ass. Those are our best days. Days we burn with the fire of determination and shine.
From divorce to dating, boy have I had some experiences; from beginning by letting others define the boundaries to grabbing and maintaining the controls for myself. Hoping to save you some of the trials and tribulations – or perhaps sharing them so you know you are not alone – these blogs are meant to inform, inspire, empower and, hopefully, make you laugh – a bit at the circumstance in which we find ourselves, and a bit at we ourselves.
So, buckle up and get ready for a fun ride as together we navigate living, growing, reconfiguring and reclaiming our lives…and of course, navigating the world of dating – as we begin again, whatever our age.
Date in Deep Water or Shallows?
Gulp. I got called out by a man who is looking for a long-term relationship; love, compassion, a true connection, not a hit and run kind of guy. I’ll preface this with, he’s attractive. Hot. Introspective, yet fun. Likes to dance. Is mesmerized by sunsets and emits alpha waves–big time, yet women confuse the hell […]
To Leave a Narcissist, Do We Feel Like a Narcissist?
In a Narcissistic relationship, do we have to be like them to leave them? This isn’t a trick question. If you even considered it leaving a narcissist…you get it. The narcissist wouldn’t identify something they did as “Narcissistic”. Ever. Their defense mechanisms would kick in to justify their actions as they projected the blame unto […]
The Narcissist’s Inner Circle
Friends—Codependents—or are the narcissist’s inner circle of friends the Duped and Dangerous? The narcissist often collects a covey of opposite sex friends…close friends…women or men they no longer–or may never have had sex with. Why? Who are these pals? Why do they hover around him? What need or desire do these mental mistresses or misters […]
A Guide to Domestic Violence and Getting Help by Brian Joslyn
A Guide to Domestic Violence and Getting Help by Brian Joslyn published Jan 21, 2020 When you hear the words “domestic violence,” you may automatically think about physical abuse between partners. However, domestic violence can involve much more than hurting someone physically with fists or feet. Domestic violence can also involve emotional and psychological abuse, […]
Pass the Torch – Not Your Fire!
When we pass the torch, do we diminish our fire? Does the glow of relevance we fueled as an entrepreneur, employee, spouse, or parent flicker and fade as we relinquish these roles? You bet it does, was my initial response. Aging requires change; from toddlers to puberty to independence and often parenthood, to empty nesters. […]
The Blame-Shame Nonsense Game
That people are quick to hurl blame and shame in the guise of accountability is often nonsense and cruel. The Blame “It takes two, you know.” I got that one from a friend when I told her my husband was having another affair and I’d left him. She frosted her remark with, “Well, he always […]
A Single’s Primary Relationship
A Single’s primary relationship…just what is that? Google defines ‘single’ as; only one, not one of several, unmarried or not involved in a stable sexual relationship. Yup, that pretty much sums it up, but what does it feel like when you have to own being only one? Reminds me of that damned roller coaster. The […]
I Waited Too Long to Leave…
I didn’t admit it until now, until I read a great love story. Even though it had a tragic ending, he loved her with all his heart and she him. She was loved back. I spent over 47 years with a man who was not capable of loving me back, but I didn’t know it. […]
EMERGENCY SOS on Your Phone to the RESCUE!!
Medical Emergency SOS Services GIVE YOURSELF AN EDGE AGAINST PREDATORS Be a Savvy-Sly Badass Not a Victim! With the touch of a button or two we can AUDIBLY or SILENTLY call emergency services with our iPhone, Apple Watch and select Androids. They will simultaneously alert emergency services, flash our location to them and to personal […]
How Did I Forgive My Narcissistic Spouse’s Affairs?
Narcissistic relationships possess unique dynamics The narcissist’s spouse isn’t necessarily blind, dumb or weak at all, when we hang in there after an affair or abuse. We adapt and are often crafty as hell. We learn to lie to ourselves more convincingly than our narcissistic spouses lie to us. There are clinical tags for we […]