That people are quick to hurl blame and shame in the guise of accountability is often nonsense and cruel. The Blame “It takes two, you know.” I got that one from a friend when I told her my husband was having another affair and I’d left him. She frosted her remark with, “Well, he always […]
We adapt: to the narcissist’s tempers, impatience, even to their contempt, yet for me, the worst thing about living with a narcissist is the emotional void of loving someone not only incapable of loving me back, but capable of such devaluing cruelty…sometimes covertly, other times with the fury of intimidation. Loving them is the worst […]
Quora asked this question…about my moment of insight When and why did I walk out and why? I reached that critical point a few months after my Medicare card arrived…after 47.5 years of marriage…four days after a walk on the boardwalk to watch a dazzling sunset, a wildly intimate weekend where we toasted to starting […]
When is it Time For You to break up or lead someone on? When they are “all in” and you’re not. Maybe you care for them, but are no longer ‘in love’ and want more or want something or someone else. Are you being mean or honest if you don’t break up? In truth, they […]
Could a thing like Object Relations Theory be a clue to understanding why communicating with a narcissistic individual can spin us in dizzy circles? I read an article by Dr. Elinor Greenberg, a real deal specialist in defining and diagnosing baffling character disorders. The article magnetized puzzle pieces to fit, explain, clear the mist of […]
How can we escape a toxic relationship when we’re clinging for dear life? Why do we stay when logic, actions, reactions and the constant knot in our gut testify that our relationship is not good and not getting better? Doesn’t toxic mean poison? So why do we want to stay? How do we set ourselves […]
I was never good at setting boundaries. They were aggressive and that’s not how to handle a hot-headed narcissistic man or woman. Once I walked away, I set boundaries. We signed an agreement not to spend over a certain dollar amount without consent from both of us, not to sell assets, that kind of thing. […]
Is sharing passwords a matter of trust or an invasion of privacy? Trust is perhaps the strongest bond a couple can have, yet it is amazingly fragile. As intimacy increases, so can the polarity of ‘Come closer but give me some space’ that we can experience. That bond of intimacy can also become a leash […]
Break the seal of the past. Grab the quill. Redirect your path. Rewrite the next scene of your story. You’re the Director, Producer and Star of the show. This is your life to own. Alex Delon
Yes…but you must learn to trust your instincts. Value yourself when you sense you’re with a player. Exercise discipline because they can be charming, charismatic and hot as hell. Decide what you want and need. I played with a few of them when I first began to date, a year after I left a 47 […]