To Leave a Narcissist, Do We Feel Like a Narcissist?

In a Narcissistic relationship, do we have to be like them to leave them? This isn’t a trick question. If you even considered it leaving a narcissist…you get it. The narcissist wouldn’t identify something they did as “Narcissistic”. Ever. Their defense mechanisms would kick in to justify their actions as they projected the blame unto […]

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How Did I Forgive My Narcissistic Spouse’s Affairs?

Narcissistic relationships possess unique dynamics The narcissist’s spouse isn’t necessarily blind, dumb or weak at all, when we hang in there after an affair or abuse. We adapt and are often crafty as hell. We learn to lie to ourselves more convincingly than our narcissistic spouses lie to us.  There are clinical tags for we […]

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Make Happy and Glad, Out of Lonely and Sad

I’m not sad or lonely. I’ve been marathoning episodes of Grey’s Anatomy. Living vicariously through their life and death dramas, loves, passions, the insanity of being real people in intense circumstances. I write to you about my past, want to pay it forward…after I discovered what happened to me, my marriage of over forty years. […]

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CODEPENDENTS TAKE THE RAP?

Pitfalls of Keeping the Peace… Playing the Peacekeeper becomes a core focus for those in relationships with a narcissist. We’re no quitters, but neither are they. Some argue that codependents share the responsibility for the unhealthy behavior, because their main focus of ‘keeping the peace’ is dependent upon countering the unhealthy family member’s behavior, like […]

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Worst Things About Life With a Narcissist?

We adapt: to the narcissist’s tempers, impatience, even to their contempt, yet for me, the worst thing about living with a narcissist is the emotional void of loving someone not only incapable of loving me back, but capable of such devaluing cruelty…sometimes covertly, other times with the fury of intimidation. Loving them is the worst […]

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At what stage in your life did you realize, “I can’t do this anymore,” and walk out?

This entry is part 1 of 1 in the series Questions and Answer Posts

Quora asked this question…about my moment of insight When and why did I walk out and why? I reached that critical point a few months after my Medicare card arrived…after 47.5 years of marriage…four days after a walk on the boardwalk to watch a dazzling sunset, a wildly intimate weekend where we toasted to starting […]

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