In a Narcissistic relationship, do we have to be like them to leave them? This isn’t a trick question. If you even considered it leaving a narcissist…you get it. The narcissist wouldn’t identify something they did as “Narcissistic”. Ever. Their defense mechanisms would kick in to justify their actions as they projected the blame unto […]
How Did I Forgive My Narcissistic Spouse’s Affairs?
Narcissistic relationships possess unique dynamics The narcissist’s spouse isn’t necessarily blind, dumb or weak at all, when we hang in there after an affair or abuse. We adapt and are often crafty as hell. We learn to lie to ourselves more convincingly than our narcissistic spouses lie to us. There are clinical tags for we […]
CODEPENDENTS TAKE THE RAP?
Pitfalls of Keeping the Peace… Playing the Peacekeeper becomes a core focus for those in relationships with a narcissist. We’re no quitters, but neither are they. Some argue that codependents share the responsibility for the unhealthy behavior, because their main focus of ‘keeping the peace’ is dependent upon countering the unhealthy family member’s behavior, like […]
Worst Things About Life With a Narcissist?
We adapt: to the narcissist’s tempers, impatience, even to their contempt, yet for me, the worst thing about living with a narcissist is the emotional void of loving someone not only incapable of loving me back, but capable of such devaluing cruelty…sometimes covertly, other times with the fury of intimidation. Loving them is the worst […]
Narcissistic Control Tactics
TACTICS NARCISSISTS USE TO MANIPULATE AND CONTROL By Alex N. Delon One of the biggest reasons people get into and stay in toxic relationships with a narcissistic partner is because they don’t know what they’re dealing with…the ploys and patterns. They don’t understand the dynamics of narcissism and struggle to make it work. To […]
Nature-Nurture and Wa La…the Narcissist?
Could a thing like Object Relations Theory be a clue to understanding why communicating with a narcissistic individual can spin us in dizzy circles? I read an article by Dr. Elinor Greenberg, a real deal specialist in defining and diagnosing baffling character disorders. The article magnetized puzzle pieces to fit, explain, clear the mist of […]
Are You Drowning in a Toxic Relationship?
How can we escape a toxic relationship when we’re clinging for dear life? Why do we stay when logic, actions, reactions and the constant knot in our gut testify that our relationship is not good and not getting better? Doesn’t toxic mean poison? So why do we want to stay? How do we set ourselves […]
How to Stop Relationship Boundary Battles…
I was never good at setting boundaries. They were aggressive and that’s not how to handle a hot-headed narcissistic man or woman. Once I walked away, I set boundaries. We signed an agreement not to spend over a certain dollar amount without consent from both of us, not to sell assets, that kind of thing. […]
When Leaving Breaks Your Heart
Leaving an emotionally or even physically abusive relationship and staying away is often gut wrenching in the beginning. I remember wondering when in the hell the knot in my chest, that made it hard to take a deep breath, would let go. In retrospect it’s interesting how as I let go of him, that knot […]
Rewrite Your Story
Break the seal of the past. Grab the quill. Redirect your path. Rewrite the next scene of your story. You’re the Director, Producer and Star of the show. This is your life to own. Alex Delon