Gulp. I got called out by a man who is looking for a long-term relationship; love, compassion, a true connection, not a hit and run kind of guy. I’ll preface this with, he’s attractive. Hot. Introspective, yet fun. Likes to dance. Is mesmerized by sunsets and emits alpha waves–big time, yet women confuse the hell […]
In a Narcissistic relationship, do we have to be like them to leave them? This isn’t a trick question. If you even considered it leaving a narcissist…you get it. The narcissist wouldn’t identify something they did as “Narcissistic”. Ever. Their defense mechanisms would kick in to justify their actions as they projected the blame unto […]
A Single’s primary relationship…just what is that? Google defines ‘single’ as; only one, not one of several, unmarried or not involved in a stable sexual relationship. Yup, that pretty much sums it up, but what does it feel like when you have to own being only one? Reminds me of that damned roller coaster. The […]
Narcissistic relationships possess unique dynamics The narcissist’s spouse isn’t necessarily blind, dumb or weak at all, when we hang in there after an affair or abuse. We adapt and are often crafty as hell. We learn to lie to ourselves more convincingly than our narcissistic spouses lie to us. There are clinical tags for we […]
Pitfalls of Keeping the Peace… Playing the Peacekeeper becomes a core focus for those in relationships with a narcissist. We’re no quitters, but neither are they. Some argue that codependents share the responsibility for the unhealthy behavior, because their main focus of ‘keeping the peace’ is dependent upon countering the unhealthy family member’s behavior, like […]
We adapt: to the narcissist’s tempers, impatience, even to their contempt, yet for me, the worst thing about living with a narcissist is the emotional void of loving someone not only incapable of loving me back, but capable of such devaluing cruelty…sometimes covertly, other times with the fury of intimidation. Loving them is the worst […]
Quora asked this question…about my moment of insight When and why did I walk out and why? I reached that critical point a few months after my Medicare card arrived…after 47.5 years of marriage…four days after a walk on the boardwalk to watch a dazzling sunset, a wildly intimate weekend where we toasted to starting […]
When is it Time For You to break up or lead someone on? When they are “all in” and you’re not. Maybe you care for them, but are no longer ‘in love’ and want more or want something or someone else. Are you being mean or honest if you don’t break up? In truth, they […]
Could a thing like Object Relations Theory be a clue to understanding why communicating with a narcissistic individual can spin us in dizzy circles? I read an article by Dr. Elinor Greenberg, a real deal specialist in defining and diagnosing baffling character disorders. The article magnetized puzzle pieces to fit, explain, clear the mist of […]
Three of my teenage grandsons came to see me over Fall Break. We were at a stop sign in downtown San Diego when a couple crossed in front of us. Once headed down the street the man made an intentional move to walk along the street side and keep his wife tucked safely on the […]