This all got very confusing. Just when I figured I’d figured it out, my body retaliated behind my good intentions. I was biologically driven to pitch out the three or five-date rule…but there are hurdles.

When his touch heats me up, his kiss makes me want to melt into him and I’m ready to kick off my heels, I want someone who wants to clear his bench, or at least is willing to before he steps through my bedroom door. This is not a proposal or lifelong commitment, but for me intimacy deserves individual attention. If I was ever part of a harem in a past life, I only pretended to like it to keep from being beaten or sold.

But it turns out that the wait to find him can become months without sex, and my biological functions retaliate. They don’t like famine. Sexual anorexia has consequences. I recently discovered that ‘use it or lose it’ is real. Even if it isn’t lost, it can retreat into hibernation.

Do I need therapeutic sex? Toss out casual and committed here. Is there a functional place for ‘just sex’ to rule the biology of singles? Should we form support groups, or would that look like an orgy?

Maybe I need to ditch my ‘want to be exclusive’ game, go for the bad boys I don’t intend to keep, and have sex for the sake of preserving my body’s responses, the health of tissue stimulated by orgasm, touch and sensation, so when the right man does come along, I’m well, healthy, and won’t miss a thing.

That was one hell of a run-on sentence but come on. This is a topic that has too many headers to count.

So, does my biology trump my morals and heart? Do I need an attitude update? To get real with the reality of sexual biology versus matters of the heart…or more importantly, my ego? Make mating matters of love versus saddle up and square off because my body craves stimulation?

Is there a viable alternative in Vitamin E and a shopping trip to an adult toy store?

Truth is, by waiting, I’ve dodged some train-wreck relationship tangles. By not waiting, I’ve made some memorable moments of passion I would do again. In a heartbeat. But even those, I understood were short term when I didn’t put them on a wait list. They were players worth playing. I’m just in a different place right now.

Will my search for intimate sex last, or will biology triumph?

I’ll keep you posted.