That people are quick to hurl blame and shame in the guise of accountability is often nonsense and cruel. The Blame “It takes two, you know.” I got that one from a friend when I told her my husband was having another affair and I’d left him. She frosted her remark with, “Well, he always […]
CODEPENDENTS TAKE THE RAP?
Pitfalls of Keeping the Peace… Playing the Peacekeeper becomes a core focus for those in relationships with a narcissist. We’re no quitters, but neither are they. Some argue that codependents share the responsibility for the unhealthy behavior, because their main focus of ‘keeping the peace’ is dependent upon countering the unhealthy family member’s behavior, like […]
Worst Things About Life With a Narcissist?
We adapt: to the narcissist’s tempers, impatience, even to their contempt, yet for me, the worst thing about living with a narcissist is the emotional void of loving someone not only incapable of loving me back, but capable of such devaluing cruelty…sometimes covertly, other times with the fury of intimidation. Loving them is the worst […]
Narcissistic Control Tactics
TACTICS NARCISSISTS USE TO MANIPULATE AND CONTROL By Alex N. Delon One of the biggest reasons people get into and stay in toxic relationships with a narcissistic partner is because they don’t know what they’re dealing with…the ploys and patterns. They don’t understand the dynamics of narcissism and struggle to make it work. To […]
To Leave or Lead Someone On?
When is it Time For You to break up or lead someone on? When they are “all in” and you’re not. Maybe you care for them, but are no longer ‘in love’ and want more or want something or someone else. Are you being mean or honest if you don’t break up? In truth, they […]
Are You Drowning in a Toxic Relationship?
How can we escape a toxic relationship when we’re clinging for dear life? Why do we stay when logic, actions, reactions and the constant knot in our gut testify that our relationship is not good and not getting better? Doesn’t toxic mean poison? So why do we want to stay? How do we set ourselves […]
How to Stop Relationship Boundary Battles…
I was never good at setting boundaries. They were aggressive and that’s not how to handle a hot-headed narcissistic man or woman. Once I walked away, I set boundaries. We signed an agreement not to spend over a certain dollar amount without consent from both of us, not to sell assets, that kind of thing. […]
Sad and Alone? You’re Not Alone.
This morning a woman on Facebook stirred memories of those first months after I left my husband of 47 years. When we finally leave a narcissistic relationship, we can be pretty broken and emotionally battered. Not at the top of our game for sure. Leaving isn’t the fulfillment of our dream, it’s a last resort […]
When Leaving Breaks Your Heart
Leaving an emotionally or even physically abusive relationship and staying away is often gut wrenching in the beginning. I remember wondering when in the hell the knot in my chest, that made it hard to take a deep breath, would let go. In retrospect it’s interesting how as I let go of him, that knot […]
Can Empathetic People Learn to Spot Manipulators?
Yes…but you must learn to trust your instincts. Value yourself when you sense you’re with a player. Exercise discipline because they can be charming, charismatic and hot as hell. Decide what you want and need. I played with a few of them when I first began to date, a year after I left a 47 […]