My Phone is a Snitch

I’m dating. Not sleeping around, but dating. Making friends. I went on a day trip to Julian with Ray today. It was chilly, but fun. Bare-limbed-apple orchards hunkered in for winter, wide vistas, incredible warm apple pie ala mode. He and I visited in the car, didn’t slide on the snow-covered roads coming or going, but just as we were pulling up to my apartment, my iPhone 7 blurts, “Bill Jones”. The ID of an incoming call.

Got it out twice, before I fished it out of my purse. I hit the “Can I call you later” auto message, but Jonesy has an antiquated cell phone that probably didn’t get the message, because he called back within 60 seconds. And…my snitch of an iPhone announced his name again. Sure, I could turn it off when I’m on a date, but it’s also a tether to my family and I don’t want to be unreachable. If I turn it down and drop it in my purse, I may as well have shut it off.

Doesn’t Apple know better? This is a dandy feature for the blind but should come in an app they deliberately choose to download. I for one don’t want a caller’s name shouted out for anyone within range to hear. Certainly not when on a date with another person. I’d just experienced the pinch and wanted to hiss, “Oh, no. Shut up!” And I’m single. No obligations. Not cheating. Yet somehow it felt like a betrayal. I can think of a dozen ways the little brat could have caused a disaster beyond discomfort.

What if I was married, and my husband heard; it could be a work associate or the restaurant where I left my credit card. Innocent or not, it would be the topic of the day, at least. What if a wife heard her best friend calling her guy? She might be helping him set up a surprise party for her, but that clandestine seed can take on a life of its own. In a business discussion, a call announced from a competitor could blow a deal. This is grounds for divorce from my iPhone and may set me on a mission to find an android that keeps its bloody mouth shut.

Today it was just uncomfortable. I pretended not to hear it, shut the damned thing off by switching to silent, but the damage was done. Awkwardness permeated the air when I said goodbye to Ray, and it was a shame. I’d had fun. Enjoyed him and the entire day. I’d been upfront, told him how much I enjoyed the social groups we were in, that I was dating, making friends. But I would never have ended a great date by announcing that I might be going out with another group member that night, or the next day. Certainly not uttered his name.

Apple should respect our privacy. It should have warned me. Offered me a choice.  If we miss a call, we can look at the damned caller ID. We don’t need to have their name announced when we least expect it, don’t want to hear it, and wish it would shut the hell up. I wonder if they’re messing with us.

I Googled how to shut it up my iPhone 7, and there is a way. Go to Settings, then Phone, then Announce. You can silence the snitch by tapping “never”. I’d never turned it on in the first place. It must have been initiated during an update that didn’t update me that I was now carrying a blabber mouth. Good luck!

2 comments on “My Phone is a Snitch

  1. Fun Fact: You can add your family to your favorites, then set your phone to Do Not Disturb. Then your family can reach you and others cannot. Problem fixed!

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