A Single’s primary relationship…just what is that? Google defines ‘single’ as; only one, not one of several, unmarried or not involved in a stable sexual relationship. Yup, that pretty much sums it up, but what does it feel like when you have to own being only one? Reminds me of that damned roller coaster. The […]
Make Happy and Glad, Out of Lonely and Sad
I’m not sad or lonely. I’ve been marathoning episodes of Grey’s Anatomy. Living vicariously through their life and death dramas, loves, passions, the insanity of being real people in intense circumstances. I write to you about my past, want to pay it forward…after I discovered what happened to me, my marriage of over forty years. […]
At what stage in your life did you realize, “I can’t do this anymore,” and walk out?
Quora asked this question…about my moment of insight When and why did I walk out and why? I reached that critical point a few months after my Medicare card arrived…after 47.5 years of marriage…four days after a walk on the boardwalk to watch a dazzling sunset, a wildly intimate weekend where we toasted to starting […]
To Leave or Lead Someone On?
When is it Time For You to break up or lead someone on? When they are “all in” and you’re not. Maybe you care for them, but are no longer ‘in love’ and want more or want something or someone else. Are you being mean or honest if you don’t break up? In truth, they […]
How to Stop Relationship Boundary Battles…
I was never good at setting boundaries. They were aggressive and that’s not how to handle a hot-headed narcissistic man or woman. Once I walked away, I set boundaries. We signed an agreement not to spend over a certain dollar amount without consent from both of us, not to sell assets, that kind of thing. […]
Sad and Alone? You’re Not Alone.
This morning a woman on Facebook stirred memories of those first months after I left my husband of 47 years. When we finally leave a narcissistic relationship, we can be pretty broken and emotionally battered. Not at the top of our game for sure. Leaving isn’t the fulfillment of our dream, it’s a last resort […]
When Leaving Breaks Your Heart
Leaving an emotionally or even physically abusive relationship and staying away is often gut wrenching in the beginning. I remember wondering when in the hell the knot in my chest, that made it hard to take a deep breath, would let go. In retrospect it’s interesting how as I let go of him, that knot […]
Rewrite Your Story
Break the seal of the past. Grab the quill. Redirect your path. Rewrite the next scene of your story. You’re the Director, Producer and Star of the show. This is your life to own. Alex Delon
When the Final Straw Broke…
Chin up, I plucked that brittle straw and FINALLY snapped it in half. It wasn’t ‘something’ that broke the final straw, it was me. I was ready to stop feeding its flexibility. Tired of being sad and alone in my marriage. My metaphorical mind finally put the years of neglect, the rages triggered when caught […]
From Toxic to Triumph
I didn’t write this blog to entertain, or make you laugh. If I’d understood the dynamics of my narcissist/codependent relationship I wouldn’t have wasted so much of my life trying to make it work. I’m not telling you to stay in your relationship or leave. I want to give you tools to evaluate where you […]