In a Narcissistic relationship, do we have to be like them to leave them? This isn’t a trick question. If you even considered it leaving a narcissist…you get it. The narcissist wouldn’t identify something they did as “Narcissistic”. Ever. Their defense mechanisms would kick in to justify their actions as they projected the blame unto […]
Narcissistic relationships possess unique dynamics The narcissist’s spouse isn’t necessarily blind, dumb or weak at all, when we hang in there after an affair or abuse. We adapt and are often crafty as hell. We learn to lie to ourselves more convincingly than our narcissistic spouses lie to us. There are clinical tags for we […]
Pitfalls of Keeping the Peace… Playing the Peacekeeper becomes a core focus for those in relationships with a narcissist. We’re no quitters, but neither are they. Some argue that codependents share the responsibility for the unhealthy behavior, because their main focus of ‘keeping the peace’ is dependent upon countering the unhealthy family member’s behavior, like […]
We adapt: to the narcissist’s tempers, impatience, even to their contempt, yet for me, the worst thing about living with a narcissist is the emotional void of loving someone not only incapable of loving me back, but capable of such devaluing cruelty…sometimes covertly, other times with the fury of intimidation. Loving them is the worst […]
Could a thing like Object Relations Theory be a clue to understanding why communicating with a narcissistic individual can spin us in dizzy circles? I read an article by Dr. Elinor Greenberg, a real deal specialist in defining and diagnosing baffling character disorders. The article magnetized puzzle pieces to fit, explain, clear the mist of […]
How can we escape a toxic relationship when we’re clinging for dear life? Why do we stay when logic, actions, reactions and the constant knot in our gut testify that our relationship is not good and not getting better? Doesn’t toxic mean poison? So why do we want to stay? How do we set ourselves […]
I was never good at setting boundaries. They were aggressive and that’s not how to handle a hot-headed narcissistic man or woman. Once I walked away, I set boundaries. We signed an agreement not to spend over a certain dollar amount without consent from both of us, not to sell assets, that kind of thing. […]
Yes…but you must learn to trust your instincts. Value yourself when you sense you’re with a player. Exercise discipline because they can be charming, charismatic and hot as hell. Decide what you want and need. I played with a few of them when I first began to date, a year after I left a 47 […]
Stats suggest that we leave an emotionally and/or physically abusive relationship 7 times before we leave for good. That said, there appears to be seven rounds in abusive relationship bouts. Which indicates we answer the above question with a whispered “Yes” and we try yet again approximately S E V E N times. And seven […]
A young woman, two generations younger and half a world away suggested I write a Q & A Blog for survivors. She’s still picking eggshells and gravel out of her feet after a bad breakup with a narcissist, but she’s out. She’s right, it would be encouraging and informative to hear from other survivors. Am hoping […]