I was never good at setting boundaries. They were aggressive and that’s not how to handle a hot-headed narcissistic man or woman. Once I walked away, I set boundaries. We signed an agreement not to spend over a certain dollar amount without consent from both of us, not to sell assets, that kind of thing. […]
IS SHARING PASSWORDS A RELATIONSHIP MINEFIELD?
Is sharing passwords a matter of trust or an invasion of privacy? Trust is perhaps the strongest bond a couple can have, yet it is amazingly fragile. As intimacy increases, so can the polarity of ‘Come closer but give me some space’ that we can experience. That bond of intimacy can also become a leash […]
Sad and Alone? You’re Not Alone.
This morning a woman on Facebook stirred memories of those first months after I left my husband of 47 years. When we finally leave a narcissistic relationship, we can be pretty broken and emotionally battered. Not at the top of our game for sure. Leaving isn’t the fulfillment of our dream, it’s a last resort […]
When Leaving Breaks Your Heart
Leaving an emotionally or even physically abusive relationship and staying away is often gut wrenching in the beginning. I remember wondering when in the hell the knot in my chest, that made it hard to take a deep breath, would let go. In retrospect it’s interesting how as I let go of him, that knot […]
Rewrite Your Story
Break the seal of the past. Grab the quill. Redirect your path. Rewrite the next scene of your story. You’re the Director, Producer and Star of the show. This is your life to own. Alex Delon
Ted Won the Bonus Round
I signed up for a four-hour, half-price whale watching excursion this morning with a Meetup group. I want to make fun of myself for getting ready, even though the fog or marine layer, whatever it is, has squatted like a too-fat-to-move toad, but I can’t find light or funny at the moment. A dear friend, […]
Can Empathetic People Learn to Spot Manipulators?
Yes…but you must learn to trust your instincts. Value yourself when you sense you’re with a player. Exercise discipline because they can be charming, charismatic and hot as hell. Decide what you want and need. I played with a few of them when I first began to date, a year after I left a 47 […]
When Is a Risk Worth Betting On?
I wonder if I’ll recognize love if it happens, or if I’ll not trust it and run for my life. I enjoy men and love sex, but just like in Las Vegas, I’m compelled to cap my losses. Before I sit down at a table, I’ve set a limit on how much I’m willing to […]
When the Final Straw Broke…
Chin up, I plucked that brittle straw and FINALLY snapped it in half. It wasn’t ‘something’ that broke the final straw, it was me. I was ready to stop feeding its flexibility. Tired of being sad and alone in my marriage. My metaphorical mind finally put the years of neglect, the rages triggered when caught […]
Should We Give Our Narcissistic Ex Another Chance?
Stats suggest that we leave an emotionally and/or physically abusive relationship 7 times before we leave for good. That said, there appears to be seven rounds in abusive relationship bouts. Which indicates we answer the above question with a whispered “Yes” and we try yet again approximately S E V E N times. And seven […]